Shift Happens: 10 Ways to Transform Sadness

And now for a brief interruption in our regularly scheduled fruit and veggie programming...

For those of you who "get" the creative process, you'll understand that you just gotta go with it when inspiration strikes. And it struck this morning like a spunky little slap in the face! So, I'm gonna get personal here. You've been warned. If you can't handle that, please see this post instead. It's about apple crisp.

OK, so if you're still reading, you can deal. Here's the scoop...I recently (as in this week) went through something that shook me up. Normally, I tend to take things in stride for the most part, making the best out of hard situations. But this had me crying. Yeah, it was over a guy. Boo Hoo.

Anyway, this morning I decided that I needed to get pro-active. I can't take feeling bad for too long without wanting to change my own state of mind and feel better. That said, part of what I decided was that it's OK - even helpful - to cry when I feel sad. Like the 70s song goes: "It's all right to cry, crying gets the sad out of you. It's all right to cry - it might make you feel better!" By the way, "Free to be You and Me" is a great Netflix choice if you want some nostalgia.

So, I sat in my car and cried, journaled, and listened to really loud bluegrass music (it's relevant). And by the time I was done, I had a strategic plan for healing my sadness. And I felt a whole lot better. Up until today, I hadn't really clarified to myself that I really do need to heal. I thought it might just go away. But it feels a lot better knowing that every day, I'm taking steps to shift from sadness to renewed happiness. So, what did I journal? You'll have to stalk me and steal my purse to find out. But I will share the highlights.

Here we go...

How to Transform Sadness and Shift into Joy:

1. If the feeling to "let it out" comes up, then cry. Just let it out. Tell yourself that it's actually mature to cry like a little girl - you're not being a baby, you're being real, healthy, and conscious.

2. Do you have a wise, kind friend who always says the right thing? I sure hope so. Because I feel incredibly grateful for mine. One of my girlfriends said to me (after I told her I didn't want to burden her with my problems) that "part of why we're friends is so we can always support each other, in good times and bad." And that she knew I would be there for her if she needed it, which is true. (I love you, Jennie!)

3. OK, I stole this from "Eat, Pray, Love." But it's fabulous and SO powerful! And I took it one step further. Whenever I feel sad, I send myself love and light. It may sound woo-woo, but I gotta tell you - it feels really good, like a fuzzy love blanket. And after that, I send the other person love and light as well.

4. Journal. That sh*t is amaaazing. If you don't already, I really do recommend it. It will help you immensely to gain clarity and make positive choices.

5. Love yourself. Tell yourself sweet nothings. Know that you are beautiful and lovable exactly as you are.

6. Be thankful for the beautiful lessons that you will inevitably get out of this challenging experience. Gratitude is the #1 way to make powerful, rapid shifts. I bolded that for a reason. It's that important.

7. Affirm something along the lines of: "I am open to a shift into joy. I allow a complete healing."

8. Visualize yourself as a healed, happy individual. Don't worry about "how" it's going to happen. Just KNOW that if you visualize it, it really will come about. It can't not.

9. Find your own inner core of bliss, peace, and love. And the best way I've found to do this is to meditate. For tips on meditating, you can refer to this blog post or check out either of my books.

10. Take notice when shift happens. Did you wake up feeling happy? Did you get inspired to start a new exercise program? Those are signs of healing. What you focus on is what will expand. So pay attention to the progress you're making...and you'll get more and more of it!

I hope you find these steps very helpful in your own life...and don't feel like you have to be sad to use them! They are wonderful tools to apply in your life, no matter what your current situation.

As my saying (and title of my first book) goes, Radiant Health, INNER WEALTH. We can't have truly ultimate well-being unless we have both physical health as well as wellness within ourselves.
Love! xxxooo

Forgiveness: Five Ways to Lighten Your Load

Forgiveness...wow, what a subject! Recently, I received a special request for this as a blog topic from someone who had been betrayed and who was having a hard time forgiving. She realized that she needed to move on and forgive, as the feelings of resentment were wearing away at her peace and she wanted to move on. I commended her on her awareness of this, as well as her desire to stop focusing on the "wrongdoing" of the other party and take responsibility for her own inner well-being. For that's the only way to truly heal.

So, today I'd like to give a few tips on the how of forgiving. Because, when all is said and done, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Wouldn't it be nice to stop carrying the unhelpful, useless baggage of resentment and feel lighter and happier? Well, here are 5 tips that will help you lighten your load. I guarantee that if you put forth effort to practice even one of them it will greatly increase your peace!

1. "The more one knows, the more one forgives." -Confucius
I like to think of that great quote in this light: If you really KNEW the reality behind what was happening in your life (think "Grand Design"), you would realize that everything is happening for a reason. Our worst experiences are our greatest teachers and gifts. I know (oh, trust me...I know) that this can be very, very hard. However, I also know that it's true. So, for this first tip, I recommend just becoming open to this idea. Give yourself permission to be open to a greater level of understanding. Just this simple act of being open will create a sacred space for a happier, wiser state of consciousness.

2. Be grateful. No, this doesn't mean saying "Gee, thanks!" when someone cuts you off in traffic. It means that you are aware that, again, everything in your life is a blessing (albeit often in disguise) and that you are conscious enough to say thanks to your Higher Power - whether that be God, your higher self, the Universe, Buddha, or Santa. Open yourself to the possibility that this experience is a great teacher, here to make you more free, happy, and wise. Perhaps it will make your life from this point on much easier because you will no longer sweat the small stuff. Gratitude is also one of those magical qualities in life that just shifts everything and clarifies your understanding.

3. Find a mirror that you are comfortable looking into. For a few minutes every day, say the following to yourself as you gaze into your eyes: "I love myself by letting go" and "I am open to forgiveness." Feel free to throw in any other hokey affirmations, as long as they actually work (and most really do).

4. Realize that just because you choose to forgive another person does not mean you condone their behavior. Yes, your husband may have run off with your best friend (on your wedding night to your mom's house), but that doesn't mean you need to let it ruin your life. It means that other people are acting in an ignorant, selfish manner. They are being unkind, but still human. However, everyone has faults and makes big mistakes. The best thing you can do for yourself is to choose who you want to work things out with and who you want to say goodbye to. Forgiving does not mean continuing to spend time in unhealthy relationships. You can forgive for your own well-being while simultaneously maintaining a space of defined boundaries.

5. When in doubt, visualize! The power of your own imagination is huge. Huge, I say! If you change your consciousness on the matter through the power of your thoughts and mental images, you will be able to watch the entire situation shift with ease. To begin, become aware of your current state of consciousness on the subject. Just observe what is going on in your mind. You may notice a lot of thoughts like "Why can't I forgive?" and "That jerk!". To shift into the happy place, all you need to do is begin to change your thoughts and images to a state of positive affirmation. For example, when you catch yourself thinking "I'm so mad at her," you can replace it with the thought "I love this feeling of forgiveness!". Reinforce this with your imagery as well. In fact, it would be extremely helpful to spend just a few minutes every day imagining the ideal situation. See yourself feeling lighter and lighter, happier and happier. Visualize yourself being confronted with that person and feeling completely at peace. See yourself surrounded and engulfed in brilliant love and light. Yes, this may sound new-agey, but who cares? It works!